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Sometimes life throws curve balls at you that you don't expect. Last year around this time I was sitting at home waiting for a wave of acceptance letters to come my way, and to my utter surprise i was astonished when, instead of a wave of love and acceptance, I was knocked down by satan's asshole shitting out all these hateful DENIED letters that basically said what a loser I was. I was angered, I was depressed, I was spending my nights outside the bar (because I was only seventeen and they wouldn't let me in, basically). Why would these schools not want me? Was my strong C average and decent SAT scores not enough for these uptight buttholes? Apparently not, and just as I began packing my bags to join the carni folks that had just rolled in to town, something came in the mail that changed my life forever. That big manila envelope that changes lives. My hands were shaking and my palms were sweaty, I felt like a thirteen year old boy who had just woken up from his first wet dream. I didn't know what to do! Was it my first acceptance letter? Or was it a huge letter that said, "FUCK OFF, LOSER." After thinking about the nine hundred other rejection letters I had received over the past month or two, I opened up the letter and there it was. "Welcome to UCLA!"
UCLA? California? Hot guys in wetsuits? I'll take it! Sign me up, I'm ready for action! I ran in to the house and began screaming, mostly to myself because no one was home at the moment besides my dumbass cat and my half blind, nearly deaf dog, Charlie. I was so excited! I couldn't wait until my family got home so I could tell them the good news. But, as it turns out, after being so excited about my good news, I ate myself in to a food coma and fell asleep until the next day. This has happened more times than I would like to admit. Anywho. Daytime rolls around, I go to school, go about my day, and then when I come home, I went in to my brothers room to tell him the good news! But it didn't go exactly how I thought it would...which, it rarely ever does.
"We are going to Boston." Maybe it was because I had just watched an episode of Boston Legal, or maybe it was because I had those fantastic mashed potatoes from Boston Market on the brain, but Boston just seemed like the place we both needed to be. i had been rejected from BU, but my brother had been accepted and I could always ride on his coat tails while he made it big in the hockey biz, and attend the local community college while he made a name for both of us.
Summer came around, and the parents were seeing us off. My brother settled in to his nice little life at BU, and I took a lovely donation from our parents and settled down in a room in a house owned by three old ladies who just looooved to tell the story of how they bought this house together! School began, and I have to admit, my little Boston idea was genius. I'm happy, I love my old ladies, and my brother is close enough where I can but the hell out of him anytime I want.
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